Posted by
VBushmills on Monday, July 06, 2009 1:15:20 PM
From our listening post in Kharbarovsk, via Anchorage, (code name BUSHWINGS):
In a secret protocol signed today by Presidents Obama and Medvyedev in Moscow, the United States agreed to allow Alaska to revert back to Russian control by November, 2012.
Full details were not available, but it appeared to be in exchange for cash and other incentives, including transport rights through Russia for US supplies to Afghanistan, as well as the establishment of a Police-Crowd Control Training Center in Kazakhstan for US militia members.
The new Alaska, called Zemliya Putin, will reportedly be governed by a subsidiary of Russian energy giants, Lukoil and GazProm, but shareholders are reported to include Christopher Dodd, Barney Frank, Henry Waxman, Bertha Lewis and the entire mail room at Goldman Sachs.
Also part of the secret protocols: The US will be the primary beneficiary of the new DukProm oil production, getting production at a guaranteed USD10 (or RMB 10, whichever is greater, a concession Obama fought long and hard for, our sources tell us) per barrel.
Obama is reported to have said that this is a good deal, "We stole Alaska from the Russians in the first place. We were the imperialists. And now, they can drill where we could never drill. We get the oil without lifting one single dirty finger."
In a related story, the early leaking of this story may be the basis for Sarah Palin's resignation from the governor's seat in Juneau. It's being reported by our Anchorage snoops that she's been Tweeting through surrogates in the Lower 48 to find foster homes for Alaska's estimated 375,000 Republicans and their families. (Apparently Alaska Democrats will be just as happy living under Russian oligarchs as they would Demogarchs, although we hear there is some worry that Barney Frank may be involved in the day-to-day management of the territory.)
Palin's plans are reported to be to move to North Dakota to contest Byron Dorgan's senatorial seat in 2010, assuming Dorgan can stave off a primary challenge from new arrival to Fargo, Terry McAuliffe.
We'll keep you posted.
St George Frederick